The Law of (Unconditional) Love

I decided to put the words unconditional in brackets so as to allow this thread to be more expansive… feel free to talk about love in all its forms and levels… from romantic love tounconditional love, which tends toward compassion…

“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” ~ Mother Theresa

“Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.” ~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

I love these two quotations most because they reflect my belief in the Power of Passion. Passion is a very powerful and productive Energy which comes from Love… Love has many names… Passion is the one name that has worked wonders for me.

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Unconditional Love is a position we take in relationship to another. It is the position of “caring” for someone else's happiness more than one's own. It's the application of the
principles of “acceptance”, “allowing” and “honoring” another's birth right to make a choice, without resistance from another. It's honoring some one else's position even when it is not in alignment with one's own. It's less anger, less irritation, less disappointment and less expectation…..for these are only a “self-centered” response to someone elses choice.
 
Unconditional Love is accepting, allowing and honoring another's birthright to make choices and behave exactly the way they are and the way that they are not without the expression of resistance, anger, irritation, disappointment and expectation; it is meeting another's choice and behavior with kindness, compassion, understanding and harmonious behavior, no matter what. This doesn't mean one becomes a doormat, or that someone must  give up one's values and beliefs to “tolerate” another. It is a genuine and authentic space that is expressed effectively and skillfully resulting in all  feeling loved and cared for.

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Thank you for this comprehensive definition of love. It allows all of us to grow from within and supplies the nurturing from without which strengthens body, soul , mind and spirit. Thanks again
Desmond22

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

You are on the right path, but I dissagree that Unconditional love is caring for someonELSE’s happiness more than we care for our own. That would defeat the point of unconditional love. How could you possibily Love someone unconditionally if you did not first Love yourself unconditionally?

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Excellent point and one I think that really is important.

If we cannot love ourselves unconditionally then how do we know how to love others in the same fashion?  We are the creators of ourselves, of our lives and on a grand scale the world we exist in.  It all begins within ourselves.  This is why we are instructed by the wise ones throughout the history of humankind to look within ourselves for the answers, for the strength, for the wisdom and for humanity.

To me unconditional love means that we have that unconditional love for all beings that exist including the animal kingdom.  That love is expressed in the complete and total acceptance of all other beings…but again we must begin with total acceptance of ourselves.

Just imagine what kind of society we might have today if but EVERY being that exists decided to love unconditionally/accept everyone else.  Imagine the peace, prosperity and well being that humanity would exist in.

Blessings,
Cheryl

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

An unimaginable crack in the enormous wall of  indifference through which a river of million flowers like honey pouring into our hearts

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

So you are also a poet, Yosama.  You write beautifully and speak clearly.

Gg - You didn't say this was not so, but I would just like to add that I believe it is perfectly possible to love ones self unconditionally and care for another's happiness/protection/opportunities more than for your own.  I know it's possible.

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

What if….

Ok, I'm on a kick lately.  All my examples seem to come back to the biology that is us.  And I love that breath, in so many religions equates to spirit or to truth or to life.  And our bodies breath is autonomic and something that just simply happens without thought or direction… UNLESS someone brings to our attention that, or we have an illness or an injury which makes breathing harder.  Then we all focus and freak a wee bit and disrupt the pattern of our natural state.

So, what if unconditional love is simply the autonomic love of source?   That it is the love threaded through each one of us and only becomes jerky and halted and out of sync when we are acting out of a wound or an injury?

I understand the concept of unconditional love, or the reason people put the word in front of love.  It is kind of like saying “extra special”.  I submit that there is no such thing (although I use the phrase myself).  There is simply love and we are tuned into the expression and offering of it or we are focused on the wound.  And the ease in which we feel best able to offer or receive love has nothing to do with conditions.  That would be a wounded offering and not something that is held in love.

Just morning thoughts.  Now I must go focus on the breath.  :-)

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Oh, Jill, what an awesome insight.  Excellent really, and right on.  I follow your reasoning, and am impressed at the ease at which you expressed it.  I also have deep respect for the natural breath, and find it is an inspiration, a simple example, of the Self in it's natural state. 
Thank you for sharing your beautiful insight and wisdom on (“unconditional”), (autonomic) love. 
Lisa

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

 I don't like the term unconditional love because it seems redundant.  love by its very nature is unconditional.  love with conditions is not love it is fond feelings that we can revoke at any time someone or something does anything that may be outside of our accepted boundries.  when we love, the true definition of love, there are no conditions….we love reguardless of what happens, what is said or unsaid.  we love eternally and with no judgement.
love you guys!!! (giggles)
a

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

I agree Amy however we humans tend to label those 'fond feelings' as love even if it really isn't love.  There are many out there who haven't discovered what love is, but who continue to label what they do themselves as love, because they have not yet found love for themselves.

Blessings,
Cheryl

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Yes, yes, yes…we should 'be' love and it will travel outward like ripples in a pond.

Blessings,
Cheryl

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Thank you Alex and everyone for the exploration of Love. I truly feel that every viewpoint  about it, including our own individuation of the meaning of 'unconditional love', is how WE experience and know love. But I feel that love ALSO includes everything that might be considered, not love. It can be conditional or unconditional, or any variety or polarity of anything we can imagine. I would tend to believe there's no limit to love, no conditions, but that it can be conditional too. As a perspective, I feel that love goes hand-in-hand with relationship, but absolute love I cannot express in words, if love goes beyond the relational aspect. Perhaps it's beyond the mind, and the experience of the absolute is way beyond the scope of how we communicate to each other about it. So, it's quite a mystery too, it seems. What do you feel?

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Hi Chris,

There are many kinds of love, yes. We are very limited in English in this regard. We have one word for I love my brother, I love my friend, I love my partner, I love Rice Krispies, I love that song… etc etc Greek has philia for the friendship, eros for sexual love, agape, for unconditional love, storge for family affection. The strong feelings we have for things, ideas, foods etc are a kind of love, I suppose, but to me, the most important forms of love are for people in all of the infinite permutations of kinds and degrees of love, and for God, however you understand God.

To me, unconditional love is an important goal. As wonderful as eros, philia, storge and others may be, agape is the way to integration and the True Self. As we are loved unconditionally, as we learn to love unconditionally, the universe unfolds in fuller light and beauty for us.

Namaste,

Nicole

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Greetings,

The best way for me to understand the nature of Unconditional Love is to be mindful of the nature of our spirit. We are all ONE, and therefore, Love for one equates to Love for all, since there is only ONE in Ultimate reality.

We are Gods Expression, in an infinite variety of form. However at the essence of our being, we stem from the same tree.

Namaste,

Ryan

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Here is something that I found interesting while searching the meaning of “unconditional love ” when this topic was discussed with my husband, who by the way has an extremely different viewpoint of what the word ” unconditional love” even means. :):):)  That's not to say that he doesn't love me as I know and feel that he does but for me to love is to love deep from thy soul. There is no other way to love but to love thyself first unconditionally and soulfully, then true love can manifest and spread to others.  

The selections featured here are excerpted from Paramahansa Yogananda's book, WHERE THERE IS LIGHT: Insight & Inspiration for Meeting Life's Challenges.

In the universal sense, love is the divine power of attraction in creation that harmonizes, unites, binds together….Those who live in tune with the attractive force of love achieve harmony with nature and their fellow beings, and are attracted to blissful reunion with God.

“Ordinary love is selfish, darkly rooted in desires and satisfactions,”  [Sri Yukteswar said]. “Divine love is without condition, without boundary, without change. The flux of the human heart is gone forever at the transfixing touch of pure love.”

By th eway this is a geat site for al to read: 
http://www.yogananda-srf.org/writings/love.html

Namaste-Lisa

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Dear Lisa,

While I agree that unconditional love is the highest, the other loves can be very wonderful too. The love of a parent for a child, still conditional though perhaps closer to unconditional than other loves, is still beautiful. So are the love within a close-knit family; the love between friends of deep affinities; the love of one for his or her beloved; the love of one for someone in his or her spiritual community; the love of mentor for mentee; and the list goes on and on.

Our challenge is, I think, to continue through practice to purify the loves in our lives of whatever takes them away from the unconditional, while accepting that we cannot attain the fullness of unconditional loving in this life.

Namaste,

Nicole

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Well said Nicole. :):)  I totally agree with your point of view. I personally feel that “unconditional love” is something that is always evolving but first must manifest within ones self before it can be shared with others.  I come from a close nit Italian family that love unconditionally no matter what your faults are. I guess in an essence “unconditonal love” is kind of based on ones own perspective and can be just about take on any meaning. So to all the people who have posted a comment; well said on your opinion of what your thoughts are on the meaning of “unconditional love” . :):)

Namaste- Lisa

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Dear Lisa,

How wonderful to be part of a warm Italian family! Being of a wary and fragmented West Indian-Canadian one myself, I often admire these other families wistfully from a distance.

When I was learning about unconditional love in the Disciples of Christ in Community course I took a few years ago (DOCC), we were reminded that it is in the context of being surrounded by unconditional love that we most freely and naturally develop the quality of loving unconditionally and travel further on the road to become ourselves most fully. So you have been well blessed.

Namaste,

Nicole

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Why Thank you Nicole,
You are most kind. It can be a beautiful blessing and both a curse at times. :):) In a most funny way. Close nit families are always in your face and business. :):) Love them lots but love the solitude at times just to be able to collect and hear my thoughts. I'm curious about this course you took called the Disciples of Christ in Community.  Could you explain it a bit? I'm always fasinated by what some people do as I'm always searching different paths for answers to some of my questions. As a catholic I'm always questioning, never God but the church. :):) Being brougt up a strick catholic as a child I think i'm rebelling as an adult . Looking for the meaning of life and what my purpose here is. I'm fascinated with other cultures and faiths as there always seems to be a sense of peace and calm. Especialy with Buddism.  If that makes sense.. :):)

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Dear Lisa,

You asked: ”I'm curious about this course you took called the Disciples of Christ in Community.  Could you explain it a bit? I'm always fasinated by what some people do as I'm always searching different paths for answers to some of my questions”

DOCC is an Anglican (or Episcopal, as it originated in the US) program to help people work intensely on understanding their faith and living it out in practical terms through dedication to God and God's unconditional love. I learned to be a presenter for a DOCC group and enjoyed very much taking turns with my other co-presenter sharing the course material with the group. It was a great experience for me, and helped me develop not only my preaching skills, but also better understand unconditional love.

. As a catholic I'm always questioning, never God but the church. :):)

I don't think there's anything wrong with questioning God either, if you ever feel the need. God is big enough to deal with all our questions. :) The Church could certainly use more questioning. Not just the Catholic church but the catholic or worldwide collection of Christian denominations everywhere. We all have a tendency to zero in on one little part of Christianity, like the blind men crowding around the elephant touching a tail, leg, trunk or whatever and claiming that was what the elephant was like. We are all very limited in our understanding of reality.

 Being brougt up a strick catholic as a child I think i'm rebelling as an adult . Looking for the meaning of life and what my purpose here is.

How wonderful! Seek and you will find, Jesus says.

 I'm fascinated with other cultures and faiths as there always seems to be a sense of peace and calm. Especialy with Buddism.  If that makes sense.. :):)

Sure. One of my closest friends, who died a few years ago, was Buddhist. More than anyone, she helped me develop a deep respect for that path or collection of paths. One of my ex-best friends is also Buddhist, and she is a beautiful, sweet, caring person who is developing and growing positively through her daily practice and Vipassana retreats. My sister is also into Vipassana.

Namaste,

Nicole

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Hi Nicole,

I love the way you answered all my questions.  :):) Thank you for your honesty.   I agree with a lot of what you said especially with regards to the whole church in general as I also feel people tend to zero in on one thing about church, religion, faith or even God and never really see the whole picture so to speak. 

You would love my family priest. You both have a lot in common. He's sees things outside the box when it comes to religion and faith. That's why I love him so much.  

He never criticizes or chastises me for seeking out other alternatives for some of my questions and he would absolutely agree with your comment that,  God is big enough to deal with all our questions. :) He thinks along that same line. Seek and you will find, Jesus says.  He said the same thing to me some time ago when I was questioning God and the church and wondering where I belonged spiritually.    Life is pretty interesting in how someone you've never met, who knows nothing about you says something that someone else said almost word for word. Pretty powerful in that maybe that is how God connects us to each other and works his many wonders. :):) Again, thank you for your time in answering my questions. You are most kind.

Namaste-Lisa

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Dear Lisa,

So much of what I've learned has been from my mentor, my Anglican priest. So, it's not surprising he and your priest say the same sorts of things. :)

Also, what impresses me more and more is convergence, how as crises in the world keep ratcheting the intensity up and up, people are coming together from all kinds of faiths and non-faiths and background to say the same truths.

Namaste,

Nicole

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Believing in love by Paulo Coelho
For the warrior, there is no such thing as impossible love. He does not let himself be intimidated by silence, indifference or rejection. He knows that behind the mask of ice that people wear there exists a heart of fire.
That is why the warrior risks more than others. He seeks tirelessly for someone’s love - even if this means often hearing the word “no”, returning home defeated and feeling rejected in both body and soul.
A warrior does not let himself become scared when he seeks what he needs. Without love he is nothing.

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Wow !!!! Extremely thought provoking Alex. I have to think on that one before commenting. :):)

Namaster-Lisa

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Yes… Paulo Coelho is thought provoking in many ways… & provoking can at times be painful…

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

You got the painful part right. Alot times when searching for answers and topics, expecially love, the answers that we get are painful but on the same page be so inspiring. This paradox is often called growing or evolving.

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

I would have to say that I agree with your point Lance.  Love can be extremely painful and joyful but always evolving and truthful.  In an essence it's called life.
Thanks for the insight.

Namaste-Lisa

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

In my view we don't have enough examples of what unconditional love is in our immediate environments in the form of modeling by caregivers, parents, relatives and friends….so, we have a clearer picture of what is NOT “unconditional love” rather than what unconditional love actually looks like.

What is NOT unconditional love is the experience of making a mistake that inconveniences someone and they respond with anger, irritation, criticism, condemnation, complaining and blaming.

Unconditional love is the experience of making a mistake that inconveniences someone and they respond as if you didn't make a mistake; seeing the good and positive in the event.

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Dear Walter,

That may not be the right or loving response, depending on the severity of the mistake (and to lesser degree the inconvenience).

Sometimes love means gently and clearly letting someone know he or she has really blown it, and being ready to forgive and support further growth.

Namaste,

Nicole

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

I agree, sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let someone go. To keep being loving you HAVE to maintain a strength that simply does not come about by being constantly walked over. I am not talking about being selfish, simply having limits to the type of destruction/ clumsiness that you allow into your life.

Have you seen the scene in Natural Born Killers where the lead players are given a lecture on snakes? They are killers and the guy knows they will kill him, he has accepted it.

That's cool, you can love a schoolboy grafitting on the subway, you can understand his need for self expression, the enormity of his feelings that the world is poo and it's not going to change, but he needs to feel heard. It doesn't mean that you're going to ask him to tag the outside of your house though does it?

People need to be loved in different ways as long as we don't slip into hate, nit picking and try to see things from another's point of view it's really not so hard.

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Yes…this is how I feel about it.

Blessings,
Cheryl

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Nicole,

The only problem I see with lovingly letting someone else know that they have blown it is that it would indicate judgement and I don't believe that judgement has any place in love.

I used to think, especially as a mother, that it was my job to make sure my kids knew when they had messed up.  This may come in handy when children are young and learning how to be adults and to happily co-exist with others but when one's children are adults then one must change one's perception.  I made mistakes in my life.  Those mistakes I now see as lessons I attracted into my experience…lessons that I truly needed to learn.  I was fairly smart and learned from them (not everyone learns right away).  Who am I to say that my children, or anyone I know for that matter, should be subject to what I think should or shouldn't be a lesson for them or that it is my place to point it out to them?  Don't I want others to go at their own pace along their own path just as I did?  Isn't it their right to do so?  Am I a better person than they are in that I can say when they've messed up?

Also the forgiveness part.  We do not forgive for the other person.  We forgive someone to free ourselves of the burden of being upset, angry, frustrated or disappointed with them.  I have in my lifetime yet to find one person who benefitted emotionally from my forgiveness apart from my self.  Concurrently, I have never sought forgiveness from anyone else for anything I might have done and if someone has ever told me that they forgive me it didn't bear any weight in my mind or heart.  That I forgave myself for what I did was what mattered.  Forgiving others also infers that others have power over us, power to make us feel a certain way.  The truth of the matter is that no one, and I mean NO ONE, can make any of us feel anything.  Feelings, when our feelings get hurt, are our decision…how we choose to react to external conditions.  We choose to be upset, frightened, frustrated, angry and all the other emotions…but it is we who choose.  Something happens outside of us or even to us and it is our reaction to what has happened that dictates how we feel about it…so you see the person who did this is not the responsible party for how we feel because feelings are a result of our reaction to what has happened.  So how can our forgiveness of someone else matter…if we decide how to feel about anything and everything that occurs in our experience?

As for supporting further growth…we do this by always giving unconditional love no matter what the other person does.  This is NOT to mean that we allow others to take advantage of us or to harm us…we must always make sure that our unconditionally loving someone else does not harm us.  However even if there is someone in our life who is taking advantage of us or causing us great difficulty or harm then we must separate ourselves from them.  This too is a form of unconditional love because we are showing the other person that we will not be used or abused and that while we still love them we will not suffer their abuse.  Sometimes this is the most effective method of loving someone who has not yet learned to love themselves.  It can also be a great example to someone else how to handle someone taking advantage or or abusing them.  We are showing them that fighting, hating, harming them back or judging them is not the answer but that asking the other to go away from us preserves ourselves and lets them know where we draw the line as far as how we expect to be treated.  For them it is a lesson but still we aren't really showing them that they messed up but only that we won't tolerate being treated that way.

As always perception is everything.

Blessings,
Cheryl

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love

Unconditional love and conflict

Best is when you truly trust in any conflict;  the other always does his best in any given moment.

To assist with that, the stage can be set in the following order

On top of everything is this movement between us where together somehow we are growing in beauty, in truth, in creativity, in believing, and through giving and receiving we are together one.

To that affect, we do all in our power to be here.

Then, conflicting in intimate long time relationship, where we flash and receive love; if there is troubles, I believe we must try to share everything we have in the most virtuous manner, and be similarly virtuously attentive to the other, and listen to the other expressing freely and honestly and if you both love each other, and if you both are caring about the well being of both of you, and especially if you both are spiritually on this developing spiral its worth every bit of it.

In that alone, in talking freely between, i think all that seemed conflicting, is redeemed.

But if we talk on relationship that seems on the rocks; the most loving way i think of is; to be sure that the other is doing just the best they can – and to tell them that, if you have a chance or if you create the opportunity to tell them.

yet, if that is for some reason prohibited, or if you have already told them and you need completion, compliment it within your powers of envisioning, see a beautiful continuation if you may to this story, and as later in time or in spirit as you feel is entirely needed, build a vision in your mind and heart with reconciliation with new and much better and refined togetherness, an opening of a new leaf, on any available level of growth seen and felt in your envisioning.

Last, if we are cut off entirely with no available channel on return or renewal, or worse if we see somebody drops completely far of the trail of goodness into self torture, into the abyss of despair, darkness, confusion or even madness, or if one regresses deep back into previous stages of evolution, in all of those, and they do happen these days more often when the pressure seems to keep building, when we arrive with somebody to that border line where we are not ready or incapable to cross, let that be, go home and allow in your heart the impossible good way for them that you can not see.

namaste.

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Re: The ABSENCE of experiencing (Unconditional) Love

Personally, the only unconditional love that exists in our dualistic (love/hate, yin/yang, light/dark, soul/ego, positive/negative) mental construct is that of God (or light, or source, or creator, or higher being, or unconditional love). The sum of all our parts is unconditional love and sometimes we can access glimpses of it but no matter how hard I have tried especially in the last ten years or so i can always find a condition on the love i express (and i have a lot to give). Until we can dissolve our polarity of existence we cannot truly experience unconditional love, but in the meantime, love manifest from that magical pool of unconditional love is certainly enough to handle and enjoy.

I LOVE LOVE…
Peace out…
Phil…

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Re: The Law of (Unconditional) Love