Zaadz: QueerThink

Re: Who is "the queer community"?

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 13:34:57 -0000

No, you were clear...I wasn't clear in organizing my thoughts around a response. I think my original intention involved freedom (or desire/need) of expression.

I think that its probably a reflection of cultural influences. One of the things that I think I have noticed is that caucasian families tend to be less cohesive than other cultures and in talking with gay people of other ethnicities, family plays a much more important role in their lives, Therefore, it may not be as easily acceptable for them to be expressive in their "queerness".

I'm a mutt amalgam of caucasian and native but my genetic manifestation is primarily caucasoid and I was raised in the typical (you're family, but your 18, now get out) caucasian cultural style. I have spent a great deal of time talking with friends of other ethnicities and they do talk of the importance of family and the bonds to the family in a much more influential way than I could identify with.

I think that there also may be a much larger contingent of "nonqueer" (whatever that means) people out there living lives in which they do not feel the need to express themselves as "queer" in the public eye.

A couple of questions that I would have are:

What defines the queer community?
What is the importance of the queer community?

Sorry for my inattention of late.

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 01:15:55 -0000

My attention was focused on family for a little while. I'm back now and hope to be a more active moderator.

Kerrick

Re: Polyamory...

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 05:43:09 -0000

kerrick -- i think that's a great overview of polyamory!

Re: Polyamory...

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 01:18:02 -0000

I have always thought of polyamory as responsible non-monogamy and the ability to love more than one person intimately and emotionally.

I have been single for two years now and hope to one day be in a polyamorous relationship again but it just hasn't happened yet.

Re: Polyamory...

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 23:37:32 -0000

Kerrick,
Thank you for a concise yet thorough synopsis of what "poly" means to you. I have been rather judgmental of polyamory, in part because I've encountered both the "we're more enlightened/evolved than you jealous possessive types" subtext as well as the "I'm having my cake and eating it too; what's wrong with that??" subtext from others who have attempted to explain its benefits to me, a naturally dyadic personality. Your explanation is the first that leaves me with the belief that it could even be possible to be "rigorously ethical" and polyamorous at the same time, so thank you for enabling me to understand it better.

Stark

Aloha ~ ...and "spiritual" doesn't mean not-fun...

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 16:53:31 -0000

Thanks for starting this pod, Kerrick. Just wanted to introduce ourselves really quick first -->

MAKENA (pronounced mah-keh-nah) means "abundance" in Hawaiian and we wish everyone here abundance in all good things! Thank you for being so active in Who You Are; it's an encouragement to us and to so many more.

Keep On Keeping On,
Siena & Toast
MAKENA
www.MAKENAmusic.com
*** see MAKENA in concert on Logo, the LGBT network from MTV! "L.A. Women's Fest" premieres Thursday, January 25, at 8:00 p.m. Pacific. check your local listings, Logo is available in 18 million homes across the USA. tell your friends! Logo's site

Re: Introductions?

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:38:02 -0000

Hello everyone, My name is Ceila, a 30 yr old lesbian and mother of 2 girls (11and 9) and partnered with the world's greatest woman, Michelle. I have been writing to other groups I belong to so my fingers are tired, so I am just going to say... please go read my profile, then when you got some free time.. go read me blogs. I have written papers on gay marriage, being adopted and finding my b/brothers, homophobia, bias in the news, and on the censorship of gay literature, so please feel free to read and comment about the things I've written. Take care and hope to here from some people soon. Hugs, Ceila

Spiritual Social Events

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 07:55:14 -0000

Hi all, I'm glad to be a part of this new website. I recently saw a post to have gay spirituality dating events and can happily say that I have been putting social events together in the Los Angeles area with spirituality in mind. This weekend we have a new one in addition to our Yoga and Yogurt, and One Key Away Dating events. The new one is called Mind, Body, and Soul. Here are the details. Come join us for an explicit, and open exploration of the male self and sexuality through yoga, discussion and meditation. Designed as a monthly retreat for the gay/bisexual man seeking greater awareness, healing and control over his mind, body, soul and sexual being. This Saturday January 20, 2007 10AM-2PM Plummer Park 8300 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood, CA 90069

Re: Introductions?

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 16:32:58 -0000

I just wanted to say Hi *waves enthusiastically* and tell you a bit about me. I've been online for a few years now but only just joined Zaadz. I'm post-op MtF Ts but identify as Intergender (both male AND female) - most of the time as a female man in a womans body, but my identity is quite fluid and changes like the weather. Some days I feel male, some days female, and other days, I really don't know what I am or how I feel, I just am - Me. Unique.

I don't regard myself as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. I feel that through my fluid gender identity I transcend ordinary sexual classifications. If I were to have to choose a label and box myself, I'd say I was metasexual. When I fall in love with someone (which rarely happens!) I fall in love with the person. What they have between their legs is irrelevant to me. .

Ultimately though, I feel labels imprison me, and I strive "to be free from the boundaries created by expectations, roles, and fears, and even from the limitations of my own genitals" - Michael Thomas Ford .

Best wishes,
Kris.

Re: Introductions?

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 22:59:37 -0000

hello! my name is chelsea, and i am commonly called chase - i embrace both names and what they represent. i came out as a lesbian when i was 17 years old, but have since realized there is a great deal of fluidity to my sexuality (as well as gender identity) and prefer to call myself pansexual, when pressed for a label. i have been priveleged to have grown up on an island full of open-minded people, with a generous and open queer community. i am vegan, an anarchist, and a feminist - i allign myself with many different factions of feminism, particularly ecofeminism and transfeminism. i have been honoured to have many trans lovers and friends in my life, and my experiences have been ripe with learning and challenging and expanding my own perceptions/ideologies. i'm brand new to zaadz and excited to be here!

namaste.

Re: Who is "the queer community"?

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 01:24:45 -0000

For me, queer also signifies deviations from heteronormative gender roles. (For the sake of reference, Wikipedia has a good listing for heteronormative-- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heteronormative).

However, as far as 'norms' go, whenever identities have margins, a community's or an identity's guidlines of who can and cannot identify or have membership within a community, it means that new local 'norms' have been created.

An example that i have personally experienced has been from both the 'gay/lesbian' and 'trans' communities. I have been told by a lesbian that if I identified as a trans, I could not identify as a 'dyke'. I have been told by Trans communities that I am not really trans if I do not identify as a man or a woman.

I do presently identify as both a dyke and as a fag (I have personally reclaimed both of these terms and both are positive to me in the context of which I have mentioned them here). I also identify as transsexual. However, I'm not trying to go from one polar sex to another. I live aware of a world where there are more than two sexes, more than two genders, and people who can identify as being without a gender.

Because of these things, I have been told by certain trans identified people that I cannot be trans.

If these aren't oppressive norms like those of heteronormativity, then what is?

I am a huge advocate for personal gender rights and the right not to gender. I am also aware of a new movement within identity politics where a person can belong wherever they say they belong. This is the movement, however the resistance is coming from many directions, even within many queer communities. I feel a lot of this comes down to hierarchy, and also the fear that a group may not be able to seek rights for themselves if they are all inclusive.

Also, I know several queer identified people of color.

However, I believe that the media plays a large part in the image of a 'white gay culture'. I cannot at this time speak for other aspects of queer and color that are not gay identified.

On another note, 'People of color' does sound strange to me. While I am aware of dominant western culture color gradiants, these are not universal. I understand that we cannot be color blind until we are actually blind to color, individually, as well as institutionally.
But with regards to color aside from that of the institution of advantage and disadvantage, I don't know of two people who are actually of the same color. And as far as ancestral background goes, people have been traveling and intermixing genetics for thousands of years. I really feel that we are all from everywhere and that we are all related genetically by now if we ever weren't before.

Amiko-Gabriel

Gender Schmender--Refusing to play by their margins, choosing to define my own.
http://groups.myspace.com/genderschmender

ISAH--Refusing the stigma, choosing to recognize the differences between, and the validity of, every single body. http://groups.myspace.com/intersexes

Mind, Body, and Soul

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 01:59:46 -0000

Hi guys,

Mind, Body, and Soul has been a great success. Just wanted to give you all a heads up on our next one coming up in 2 weeks.

Please check out our event coming up on August 25th. I have posted it on the events calendar.

Plummer Park
7377 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90046

2:00pm- 5:00pm

An exploration of the male self and sexuality through yoga, discussion and

meditation. Designed as a monthly retreat for the gay/bisexual man seeking greater awareness, healing and control over his mind, body, soul and sexual being.

Thanks,

Alton

new Girl Meets Girl Podcast episode posted

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:46:34 -0000

Just wanted to share -- Girl Meets Girl Podcast is weekly, and we just posted another episode. We're calling the ep You Might Be A Dyke If… It's a lighter hearted look at the stereotypes of “dykey-ness” and “masculinity.” Also in this ep, the truth about Tofurky, and a recipe for a favorite Asian-influenced dish in Hawaii, Somen Salad. Yum!

Girl Meets Girl is us, Toast and Siena, talking about being gay, Asian-American, growing up in Hawaii, and the life lessons we learn as independent performing and recording singer-songwriters. It's helpful and positive – to encourage, inspire, and make you laugh a little, every week. It's been known to lower some listener's blood pressures!

Check it out at www.GirlMeetsGirlPodcast.com or…in iTunes or in other podcatchers.

Silent Art Auction Benefits Faerie Sanctuary as part of Solstice

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 19:26:03 -0000

The Silent Art Auction is part of a night of sumptuous food and live entertainment celebrating the Winter Solstice from 7-11pm on Friday, December 21st at Mama Calizo's Voice Factory (formerly known as the Jon Sims Center), 1519 Mission Street (at 11th) in SOMA, San Francisco, CA 94103.

All proceeds benefit the Short Mountain Faerie Sanctuary in rural Tennessee,
which has already raised 80% of the funds needed to purchase adjacent land and dramatically expand their healing space.

Mind Body and Soul revised and better than ever.

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 00:09:21 -0000

Join our monthly 3-part series for the gay and bisexual man seeking greater awareness, healing and control over mind, body and soul. All events take place at The Vilage at Ed Gould Plaza 1125 N. Mccadden Place. LA, CA 90038

Every Friday
Kundalini Yoga
with Eric Morris
7:30-9:pm

Saturday April 19th
Relationships 101
Workshop with John Buse
7:30-9pm

Thursday April 24th
Synergy of Sex and Soul
with Shane Bruce
7:00-8:30pm

Admission Free. Reservations required. Email: acarswell@lagaycenter.org
Giveaways: $10 starbucks card (1st event)
Movie Tickets (2nd event)
$50.00 Target Card (3rd event)

Gay marriage

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:17:16 -0000

I turn on the news, and so in California, they have just passed the right for gay people to marry.......again. As a single, gay person, who plans on staying single.........this is really bugging me. Aren't gay folks falling into the same paradigms with gay marriage rights? If I go on a cruise, I pay double and THEN SOME to have a single room. I buy small amounts of food, I pay more. I cannot insure a second person, irrelevant to who they may be (how about my best friend, a 60 year old straight woman, that I live with?). I pay more taxes. I pay more into the pool for married folks and their kids insurance. The list goes on and on, and no one ever talks about this. If you want to stay with someone for the rest of your life, that's great. But do you really need to have it recognized by THIS government? And get special privileges for pairing off? And if you want kids, should'nt you be prepared to foot the financial bill? Is anyone out there going to pay for my kitty litter? These babies of mine are quite expensive.

In other words, aren't we just creating a new dominance paradigm. Now it will be, ummmm, what in maybe ten more years,.......fighting for single people equality? In other words, this is not a step forward. I'm amazed that this is never even discussed. Remember the first time, wasn't it a coincidence that it was election time? Or is it? More distraction and folly and arguments, but still not creating equality. So in the news piece they show Rosie O'Donnell on the court steps from last time "This is about equality FOR ALL!". No, it is not, in my opinion, and I would like to hear from others on their thoughts about this.

Re: Gay marriage

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:27:23 -0000

Thanks, Bartholomew. You're a prescient voice in the wilderness. Although my partner and I have been together for 33 years, and being recognized as a married couple would entitle us to benefits, we've discussed this very issue and agree with you that it would be institutionalizing a new set of unjust penalties for single persons. So we're not going to opt into marriage, no matter how the issue shakes down. Yes, you're right--it is totally amazing that your point of view hasn't been expressed in the lesbian/gay community. Why do you think that is?

Re: Gay marriage

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 01:15:50 -0000

Wow, I'm so thankful to you for being honest and expressing ANY opinion on this. I was becoming a bit jaded about Zaadz over this, I wrote a few folks about this in private dialogue, and dead silence after that, no more chats. Funny huh? After living in the radical faerie community, which split my head/soul open in a way....and then moving on, I've realized how so many folks learn to break the paradigms that are convenient. I think there's a few reasons for it. One, people really do want to be "recognized", even if it's an old system/paradigm, some kind of comfort in it, or right an old wrong, the way we grew up as gay folks in America, or any other place for that matter. By you asking me, why do you think that's so, I guess I just thought of that, and a glimmer of compassion popped out. Hmmmmm. Since I've posted here, I've gotten myself into a tizzy, because no one in my life seems to care enough to question whether that's another paradigm......except my MOTHER. Ba-dum-pum. LOL. The reason I'm laughing is because my mother watches Bill O'Reilly and reads Ann Coulter. Go figure. And when I spoke to her about it, I now vaguely remember a conversation as a child, (10 years old or so?), about this very same subject, but concerning "traditional" marriage then. Well, I guess I said WHY people would hold onto it, but I didn't address what you asked, why we don't talk about it. Forgive me, I'm not connecting dots well right now, I just played tennis for 4 hours, I'm pooped. I think maybe the realization it will take a long time for the masses to question the validity of state sanctioned marriage in the first place. That would be my reason if it was in my sub-conscious only. Am I making sense? I should nap before I write anything else.

I've been searching the web, and I found a book or two about this very subject, will pick them up. One is written by a lesbian professor. I'm sure it's not selling like hotcakes, and she's not winning a popularity contest either, I bet. Debbie Downer at the wedding reception! LOL.

Re: Gay marriage

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:46:20 -0000

Yes, I think you've hit the nail on the head. People DO want to have the comfort of an old paradigm, even if they know it's screwed up. It's the world Hollywood invented where the wedding scene is the climax of the movie. Even when we know it's the model itself--heterosexual marriage--that's messed up in the first place, it's been held up to us for so long as the ne plus ultra of Happy Endings before we had any kind of resistance to it...so that's what we embrace, too. Anything to fit in!!

I had to laugh about your Ann Coulter-reading mother. My family is fairly liberal, but of all people, it's my Rush Limbaugh-listening, National Rife Association standard bearer brother-in-law who actually has the best sexual politics of anyone in my family with regard to women's equality and lesbian/gay rights...go know!

I certainly don't claim any exemption for all this, either. My brain has been as thoroughly washed as anyone else's. When Stonewall happened, I remember feeling threatened (!!) by the news of the uprising. I'm very ashamed to admit that now but I'm committed to truth telling...and, of course, I soon got radicalized.

A lesbian friend of mine recently said in talking about the lesbian baby boom, "I really don't get it. I thought one of the PERKS of being a dyke was that you didn't have to deal with the little buggers." (Of course, I'm glad we're winning the right to adopt but here again, I wonder if the same kind of anything-to-fit-in brand of self-hatred doesn't play a part.)

Anyway, good talking to you, Bartholomew. If you can pass along the name of the book by that lesbian professor, I'd appreciate it.

Re: Gay marriage

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 02:28:13 -0000

I really like your brain, buddy. Anyhoo, your last writing just triggered a thought I had a while ago, but somehow forgot. The powers that be, the shadow self of us all, whatever conspiracy theory you wish to pencil in here.....really likes the idea of all of us pairing up in two's, hiding under the crawlspace together, me thinks. LOL. Okay, I'm taking it a step further than necessary. But on one of my acid trips, I thought, life is eternal, we've always existed, I've been or am being here many times (wink, cause time doesn't exist), so I have many wife/mates/husband/lovers/f-buddies, and I'm running into a lot of them......and sometimes they are not in the birthday suit that suits me, at least not in this life. That's fine, different exchange. But what of the many that are? On a purely sexual level, why limit? Disease is all I could sort-of agree with. Emotionally? No way. I know I'm taking this out of the initial legal-stuff conversation, but how does it work for those (like yourself), who are in it together for the long haul? The comfort of one's best friend, I hope. I guess I branch off here because the old paradigm tries to sell the whole committment kaboodle, but I really don't think that is natural male human nature, and even if there was a spiritual element to the limitation, maybe even the point, it puts such a large limitation on the personality. I read Camille Paglia more for a laugh than anything, I'm more of a Riane Eisler style feminist, but in one book she brings up the point about straight married men who have the occasional urge to be with other men. I've never dated one, I wouldn't anyway, for other reasons, but I'm not sure if it's healthy for the soul to suppress that urge.

I'll wind down here. Society puts marriage on a pedestal. Allowing gays to marry legally, making it a big to-do right around last election time, well, that was a politcal dividing tool, right? Oh Nimrod, I forgot what I thought again. Point is, "the powers that be" (LOL) soon will not care who ya screw, as long they can keep control of your freedom and say "only one please!". And throw in the abortion/do as I say with your body in this argument. There...I kinda said it.LOL.