Zaadz: Integral Relationships

Re: Difficult choices ahead while here in America

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:51:04 -0000

it sounds to me like you are making good progress thinking it all through, Vivi-Mari...

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Bonding Patterns

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:52:22 -0000

It's hard to deal with those negative feelings, but it's in dealing with them that the deep personal growth occurs.

Love,

Nicole

Re: Bonding Patterns

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 03:50:02 -0000

Yes, if only we have someone to work with. It's pretty hopeless on one's own and therapy isn't a solution for everybody (you've got to deal with people who push your buttons and I don't think most therapists really do that, nor is it easy to enter a situation of make-belief if you're a smart person). Yet the kind of wounds many people have are such that quite a lot is being demanded from their family and friends. It's quite hard to stay optimistic when you see such a gulf between those who make it because they have money to get what they need and want and those who don't and have to rely on personal relationships alone. Oh well, I guess that's another issue...

Re: Difficult choices ahead while here in America

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 03:52:50 -0000

Thank you dear Nicole, I guess it sometimes seems that way and then we seem to be right back at square 1 again. Maybe it's two steps forward and one backward or then the growth just happens on many levels and it takes time before all of it is integrated...

Re: Bonding Patterns

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 10:23:30 -0000

it is another issue indeed, and you know what they say about the grass being greener... it's a truism that rich people suffer too, but it's also true.

love,

nicole

Re: Difficult choices ahead while here in America

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 10:24:37 -0000

i think you're right about that - two steps forward and one back. that is how it's always been for me anyway.

love,

nicole

Re: Bonding Patterns

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 22:50:52 -0000

Yes, of course, being well to do has its downsides just as everything else. Sometimes poverty helps us get back to basics, and maybe for some it's a good thing.

Re: Bonding Patterns

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 00:59:13 -0000

I also hear you, it's not always a good thing - maybe not often a good thing - to be poor! Especially the truly poor in the developing countries who have almost nothing.

Love,

Nicole

Re: Bonding Patterns

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 19:22:49 -0000

I do know about attracting money and the like, but either it;s just not my destiny to do so right now or I just don't get it. The lack of money severely limits options, which sometimes forces us to make choices that force us to grow. But there is not alway "opportunity" much more in the western world than there is in developing countries. It can be a lesson of humility and compassion too. I don't like it and in the long run I believe people should have more personal freedom due to access to money, but sometimes these things are the way they are for a reason unfathomable to us, and we have to try and be strong and stay centred in our hearts and relationships nonetheless... These are hard times for most people who want to grow.

Re: Bonding Patterns

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 11:45:04 -0000

i have a feeling you will keep growing anyway! you seem to be persevering beautifully.

love,

nicole

Re: Bonding Patterns

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:27:03 -0000

Thank you, that's very kind of you Nicole! I guess those who persevere will get somewhere eventually :-) I wish you much the same on your path! Love, V-M

Re: Bonding Patterns

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 16:29:35 -0000

thank you!

love

Nicole

Cheers!

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 06:52:18 -0000

Just came on board Gaia.com and I look forward to meeting many of you.
Right now I'm living in Philadelphia as a grad student, and I spend most of my time writing and recording music. As for integral relationships…I'm in a committed relationship, and everyday we're learning to open it into something much greater than ourselves. Learning to surrender. I feel like I'm only starting to approach relationship as an art. Every moment is an opportunity to make love as the great one. Say hello!

Re: Cheers!

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 14:12:17 -0000

welcome Kev! You sound so happy...

love,

nicole

Re: Cheers!

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 09:30:01 -0000

Hey Kev, welcome to the place.

Insights from a recent blog by Will

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:01:28 -0000

here for the full blog

I've been enjoying John O'Donohue's Anam Cara quite a bit. At one point he mentions that we have misunderstood the idea of divinity, believing that it is outside of us rather than within us. He counters this belief with the notion that our bodies are contained within our souls.

If we believe that the body is within the soul and the soul is divine ground, then the presence of the divine is completely here, close with us.

Being in the soul, the body makes the senses the thresholds of soul. When your senses open out into the world, the first presence they encounter is the presence of the soul. To be sensual or sensuous is to be in the presence of your own soul. Wordsworth, careful of the dignity of the senses, wrote that "pleasure is the tribute we owe to our dignity as human beings." This is a profoundly spiritual perspective. Your senses link you intimately within you and around you. (pg. 59)

I think this is a beautiful idea.

When we are in nature, our senses are flooded with sights, sounds, scents, and textures. It is no wonder that nature can act so powerfully to ground us in our souls. Allowing our senses to open to the mystery and majesty of nature can heal us in profound ways.

Even more so, when we are intimate with someone we love, ALL of our senses are overflowing with the sensuous. We may misunderstand this experience as being purely physical. But when we are intimate with another being we are in the presence of soul, if only we can open ourselves to that experience.

It's wonderful to have raw animal sex sometimes, but we need to balance those times with encounters in which our bodies and senses are open to touching and being touched by our own soul and the soul of our partner...

The world would be so much a better place if we all could live our lives with an openness to the physical nature of our souls.

I think this is so beautiful and true. Sex can be highly charged and wondrous, but when we can really connect with the other person on a soul level, that must be awesome.

At least, so it seems to me in theory. I have not had much experience with that kind of open-hearted, joyous and totally spiritual sex. But maybe someday...

Re: Insights from a recent blog by Will

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 04:02:24 -0000

Thanks for posting this Nicole.

From my own experience, I can say that it is beautiful when we can be this open -- truly amazing.

I have just started a new relationship with a beautiful, soulful woman. Although we know we are deeply in love, and the desire to be intimate is powerful, we are waiting to have sex.

Instead, we are building intimacy in increments. We are creating a soulful space of trust and honoring of each other's needs for safety and openness. When we do have sex, I have no doubt it will be amazing because it won't be about goals or performance -- it will be about soulful sharing. I can't imagine a better way to begin an intimate relationship.

Peace,
WH

Re: Insights from a recent blog by Will

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 13:48:10 -0000

Dear Will, I had a sense from your poems that this was emerging. How absolutely delightful. Yes, that is the very best way.

Love and best wishes for a soulful and fulfilling relationship,

Nicole

Re: Penetrating the Heart of Aikido - Aikido is sex

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 10:43:46 -0000

A great article, not only about Aikid0, but about Budo and Kempo in general. Practiced in 3 decades and I would only add:

Budo is about sex and death simultaneously. The co.incidence of eros and letting go. its about the breathing heart of the plce where consciousness appears AND disappears.

Thanks to Ross Robertson (among many others) -see diverse articles at WIE too - its now permissable to speak in this way.

Relations and family

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 11:37:17 -0000

So far family isnt touched so much in Gaia discussions.

Personally I am living in this context of family though not father of the (adult) children. And to devleop and nurture the partnership in such a context seems to be a very special issue.

One could add commun ity and friendships. Alternate forms of various cultures...

For the sake of a simpler beginning it seems sufficient for me to bring family as theme into this picture of realtionships. I explicitly do NOT speak this moment about integral.

Integral can mean lots of most diverse and different topics. Depending what stage of life is referred to, what culture, local habitats are the case. ETC..ETC..

Simply living family life -as is explored in amyn ways in Hellinger Constellation work too -brings lots of specific responsiblities and challenges to the partners. It is said that good partnership precedes parentship. However lots of different exchange is happening.between these different relations to one another.

And taking responsibility outside family is another thing. My experiences over some decades showed me often how many misunderstandings, even prejudice is projected by members of special life options to the other options.

This complex fields of learning need some more integral consideration. And appreciation of all forms and choices of living.